Owning Our Inner Narrative

How our Thinking Influences our Relationships

When we are operating from a place of being on the Judger Path or Below-the-Line, we end up having wht’s called an Inward Mindset.

  • When we have an Inward Mindset, we stop seeing people as actual human beings who have their own needs, objectives and challenges; and we start unconsciously seeing them as objects.
  • With an Inward Mindset, we become very self-focused and primarily pay attention to how others are impacting us – our work, our teams, our work projects, etc. It’s all about US – our own Needs, Objectives and Challenges. We aren’t considering and don’t care about what others might be facing.
  • Consequently, if they can help us achieve and meet our needs or objectives or address our challenges, we view them as vehicles. If they might hinder our efforts, we view them as obstacles getting in our way. Or we can view them as simply irrelevant if they have no impact whatsoever on us meeting our needs, achieving our objectives or addressing a challenge.

Because we know that our behaviors stem from our mindset or how we think and see things, let’s look at some of the behaviors we might see when we are operating from an Inward Mindset.

  • If I’m viewing you as a Vehicle, I might engage in harder behaviors like manipulating, threatening or trying to control you. Or I might engage in softer, more passive behaviors like indulging you or trying to get you to like me so you’ll do things for me.
  • If I’m viewing you as an Obstacle, I might engage in harder behaviors like criticizing, blaming or punishing you. Or I might engage in softer, more passive behaviors like putting up with you, avoiding you, or just leaving and not engaging with you.
  • And if I’m viewing you as Irrelevant, my behaviors will also follow accordingly.
  • In an Inward Mindset, we become really attached to our own stories and actually make things harder. We end up with siloes, blame, blind spots, stuckness and low morale.

In other words, an Inward Mindset make things HARDER!

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